The day I dreaded has come, and gone, with surprising ease. I have put in a lot of work in order to make this opportunity to have Facial Feminization Surgery happen. I have searched for surgeons (a lot of online work), have had consultations with multiple surgeons, and if you are trans you can probably guess the ones I am talking about. I had my chance, only for them to fall through, and I would have to start all over. Because I am trans, I have to have letters from therapists and PHDs or MDs - it is gatekeeping, and it is ridiculous, but hey, those are the hoops that we trans and nonbinary people face when needing and wanting gender affirming care.
I have all the necessary letters, and proper documentation. Hell, I have enough documentation to make a clone of me. That made sense in my head, but doesn’t read right. Oh wells, it is staying. But yeah, this time (and for two other surgeons) I needed a CT Scan of my face and neck. So, I got that done. I picked a surgeon, and no, I will not mention their name until about two months after surgery. So, sometime in Feb, March of 2026. Anyway, I had everything in order, we (Egg and myself) even had a follow up before the preop, to go over what, exactly what he would be doing, and how he would be doing it. That put both of our minds at ease. There was a hiccup, which never fails to pop up, especially at the end of a process. This hiccup was that the hospital could not get me in before the end of the year. After the beginning of the year, it would have been an additional $4000, and that I just did not have, and I would not have been able to get this, what I feel is necessary, surgery. But, as luck would have it (do we even believe in luck anymore? Well, I don’t, but that is a topic for another day), another hospital within the same chain was able to grant privileges for my surgeon, thereby bringing the surgery back on the table.
I should back up and let y’all know that there was a point where my surgeons office confirmed that it probably would not happen in 2025, and they asked me what I thought about January of next year. They also said they would keep trying to get it in this year. So, if you pop back to the beginning of this Substack that I have been writing (I have only been writing for about three weeks), you will get some woe-is-me bloody, awful poetry, and a post about how I had made peace with the idea that it just wasn’t the right time. By the way, I don’t know what y’all believe, but I put cards (both Oracle, and tarot) and do Ifa divination. All signs pointed to this surgery, and that it was going to be in 2025. But I just had to admit that maybe all the signs were pointing to something else, and FFS was clouding my judgement. Yes, I had made peace with it, and I was okay with it. Then the email came…
