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Backstreet in Atlanta was the first gay bar I went to BY MYYSELF. I had been to gay bars in different parts of the country. I don’t know if it was a block, or I didn’t want anyone to know that I was interested in going to a gay club. My friend group, at that time, was not homophobic, at least not in the strictest since. I mean, we did go to Swinging Richards. I will give you once guess as to what was swinging lol. I was in my experimenting phase, but I didn’t want anyone to know. Hell, no one knows the extent of my experimentation. Mainly, the reason for that, is, simply, no one has asked me. I often wonder if I should just offer up this information, then I remember that this was a special time for me. 24 hours. Talk about debauchery. I started by going with my friends, so I realize I may have contradicted myself above. We would drop in around 10 pm. All the gay boys would be shirtless, one big pile of sweat, and whatever else, was on the dancefloor. To say I saw many sex acts on that floor would be putting it mildly. The music was typical gay boy music. But at 12 am, there was a perceptible shift in the music. It turned to a nasty form of house music. Whew, that is when things started taking off. Tina, doubled stacked mitzis, bullets, K, and other drugs to expand ones mind were passed around like candy. On the second floor of the three floors, there was a cabaret and drag shows. I would park myself in the back so they did not have a chance to yank me on stage.

Was I nervous? You bet your sweet tookus I was nervous. I thought someone would look at me, say fraud, stamp my head with a big, red stamp that said fraud, and send me on my way. Of course, that didn’t happen. I got a sweet smile, a hello honey, and an enjoy. I went to the circular bar, got a drink, then to another place, got a bit of nitrous; found one of the queens I was friends with who I knew served, picked up a gram, and went upstairs to see all the boys dance. This began my regular visits to the club by myself. 2:00 in the afternoon—why not? 1:00 AM sure. The point is that while I wasn’t interacting with the boys (okay I would dance. The shirt would come off. But nothing more than that,) I was in the room, I was in the element. I was soaking up that which was my true nature. I was queer, and I wasn’t sure what stripe of queer, all I knew is that at that time, without my friends, I was free. I hung with queens, doing blow and tina, danced all night, drank during the day, and soaked up the atmosphere.

Oh yeah, I think I may have left out one of the most important things about Backstreet. It had a 24 hour liquor license. One of two places in Atlanta. The other was Club Anytime. That was more for the industry peeps, also the dancers and such. I never went. My clubs were Nomenclature and Backstreet. Nomenclature had triple x porn Thursdays which was a lot of fun, and had a great mix of cis hetero and queer people. Nomenclature played deep house, so it was always a vibe. After Nomenclature, and indeed most clubs, at 3 am, everybody flooded into Backstreet or Club Anytime. Instead of being a strictly gay club, at 3 am, the line would wrap down the street, as the straights filtered in. The music became a grittier form of house, and all sorts of shenanigans happened. There were many days I would go at 10 pm, and leave at 10 am..

The memories from Backstreet and the formation, and time, it gave me to work out my sexuality and gender will never be forgotten. That was the first time I had been exposed to queens, to trans women, to so many gay guys not giving any fucks, and that was exciting!! I whole new world exploded in front of me. I could continue to write, but I want to wrap this up. I won’t say it was my sexual awakening, but it was the first time I saw all of this in 3d. And it was exciting!!!

Until next time,

OnyxRose