Running on Empty

I have been working towards the goal of getting FFS (Facial Feminization Surgery) for years now. It has been at least 15 years since I started think about it. Well this year was my chance, after having my hopes dashed earlier in the year. Well, I wad told that they could get me in by the end of the year. I have hit my out of pocket maximum and the only cost was the surgeons fee plus hospital and anesthesia. I had the surgeons fee and was ready to go. Then, the email came yesterday: we will talk about surgery tomorrow(this was yesterday. Today, I got the news I was expecting, but was hoping against hope. Well, turns out that the hospital could schedule before then end of the year, so I would have to meet my out of pocket maximum again or have to pay more. Ugh. The surgeons office did say they would try to get other hospitals in the areas to give my surgeon permission to have surgery there. The hospital system is Northside in Atlanta GA. There are satellite hospitals, so they are going to check those; however, I am losing hope, and am upset that I will be stuck with this face. My mother said I will never look like a woman. It is true, and now, I am stuck…