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Yall I think I am vibrating at a higher rate than before. I go through these periods where I feel, idk, and the only way I can explain is vibration. I am humming and sometimes it is more noticeable. Most times, not so much. But the last few days I have felt like ripples or waves of energy or something.

I am know ———-

OKAY BIG BREAK HERE*********

I just read something that says people who vibrate at at a higher frequency are characterized by positive, high-energy emotions like love, joy, gratitude, and compassion. They are often described as optimistic, resilient, empathetic, and spiritually aware individuals who radiate calm and magnetic energy. These individuals typically live intentionally, maintain a healthy lifestyle, and possess strong intuition.

This does describe me almost to a tee, according to many people. I tend to think this is how I see myself most times. Of course, there are times where my vibration is low, and people pick up on that too. I am pretty easy to read, and wear my emotions on my sleeve, and all over me. Let me put it this way—I would not be good at poker lol.

I am optimistic, even though in these times it is hard to be, on a grand scale. I try to look at the best, but as Egg would say, sometimes my dramatic flair for the negative can out way my positive and sunny demeanor. That is another word. Sunny. I have heard magnetic multiple times in the last few years.

My empathy level is kind of high. I feel like I can pick up on energy, and that puts me in a person’s situation, feeling the emotions they are ( or I imagine they are) feeling. Or I can use a similar situation to understand the true nature of their issues or feelings. My intuition is strong. Sometimes, I don’t listen to it, and it will get me in trouble. Usually, when I listen to it, I am dead on. It is something that I have had a long time and have been working on trying to get stronger. Now, I am not at all a healthy-eating person. I need to change that pronto.

As far as spiritually aware, I don’t know. I have moved through many paths. Never really a Christian, as I went to church because my parents made me. At 16, I jumped off that ship and started winding my way down the path towards where I am now. I have been through Wicca, British Traditional Witchcraft, solitary work, general witchcraft, ceremonial or high magick. I have stumbled through reiki and energy movement. I have called myself pagan. I have studied Celtic mythology and beliefs. I read The Mabinogion by Evangeline Walton with a Welsh dictionary nearby. I have crossed oceans in my studies. A little Hinduism and Buddhist thought thrown in. Then I moved to Africa. Nigeria. Specifically, Yorubaland. I began consuming African mythology. I began to read about the Orisha, which I had a calling to. I found the spirituality Ifa, specific to the region above, and spread throughout the diaspora. I may, one day, write more about my journey from bored person in church because their parents made them go to person who loves the journey through different magickal systems and alternative belief patterns. I forgot my foray into the Bahai faith. I really need to write all this down. I really could mine my mind for all this information, and I think it would make a great read.

Some people might say “well, your bipolar 1 is creating all of these feelings.” I’m like nah, bipolar is a super power. It does create some problems (okay, a lot) but I understand that with great power, sometimes comes a little craziness lol. I cannot say No, my bipolar is not causing these feelings. What I can say is that the bipolar informs these abilities. My empathy is affected by my bipolar disorder. When in an episode, my reactions run the gamut. I can be an asshole, and disregard my feelings. I can be lovey dovey and needing affection, and giving affection. I can be an ass to my friends, and my boo thang. That, also, is a story for another day.

I have been listing to a lot of hip hop lately. Yep, I still listen to a lot of dance music, a lot of indie and alt music, a lot of pop music. Really, a lot of music. Music is my balm. I rub it on my aches and pains whenever I have them, which is often. The song above great! Let me drop the lyrics:

Denzel Curry, Robert Glasper—Melt Session #1

Yo

Take a ride on my train of thought, fundamentals what I bought
Penniless, I await the emptiness enlightened
Twenty-six years on Earth, my soul fighting
Habits that ain't happen, my body has took a liken
To my lifestyle, battling stress the size of Goliath
Slingshots plus hard rocks, these stones getting thrown
My temptations are amplified when I get alone
Tried to separate the action from the man
I wholeheartedly understand why I need to grow even though I'm grown
If I did you wrong, I vow to make it right
Judge me off appearance, it was said to me, I'm impolite
Eyes remain in freeze mode, I'm stuck in fight-or-flight
I'm deflecting my daily problems within my daily life
Recognize hidden patterns of my own demise
Why I feel like hiding a truth is finding a lie?
Dealt with thoughts of suicide, women I've objectified
Couldn't see it through my eyes so for that, I apologize
I'm just hypnotized, working hard to empathize
Strung out on love addiction and groupies when souls collide
I've been this way since the day I turned six
I've been touched before, way before I touched my—
Now I'm almighty pushing through the pain
The almighty cushion to the flame
The birds and burning bushes in my brain
I had to make an effort, double overtime to change
Had to journal my journey and mistakes I made on the way
Manipulation to get what I want
Getting very distant after I got what I need
Writing rap and wisdom, whiskey, women, wars and weed
Narrating all these conflicts, then top it off with greed
I keep walkin', I keep walkin', I keep walkin'
Me and my so-called best friends don't speak often
Blaming me for everything when they can't point fingers at they selves, so be grateful I offered the help
Being aware is my definition of melt
My eyes eating perfections within myself
Cracked images, bad luck, and broken mirrors
Funny how I see in permanent so clearer
I dedicate this to the ones I hurt
It's time to get my spirit right on earth
Before my sins become a evil curse
Conquer thirst, can't revert to who I was at first
I channel God through this verse
Accountability, I take responsibility
For all my actions, I packed them in these soliloquies
Just because we're not friends don't mean we're enemies
Thank you all for listening, sending y'all with good energy

Melt
I keep walkin', I keep walkin', I keep walkin'
I keep walkin', I keep walkin', I keep, melt
I keep walkin', I keep walkin', I keep walkin'
I keep walkin', I keep walkin', I keep, melt
I keep walkin', I keep walkin', I keep walkin'
I keep walkin', I keep walkin', I keep, melt
I keep walkin', I keep walkin', I keep walkin'
I keep walkin', I keep walkin', I keep, melt
I keep walkin', I keep walkin', I keep walkin'
I keep walkin', I keep walkin', I keep, melt
I keep walkin', I keep walkin', I keep walkin'
I keep walkin', I keep walkin', I keep, melt

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Robert Glasper / D. Curry / Bridget Perez

Melt Session #1 lyrics © I Am A Jazzy Guy Music, Concord Copyrights, Dc Ult Music Publishing, Purple Elixir Songs

Trying to be more self-aware, as it is necessary n’cest ce pas. My French has gotten bad, mes amies. Hell, I don’t even know if either of those are right, and I am not going to look it up.

If you have gotten this far, you may realize you are not getting the newsletter that is supposed to come out every Tuesday. It is called, “ Dawn’s in trouble. It must be Tuesday.” I was trying to push it out once a week. Unfortunately my brain does not work like that. I will have to find a way to trick my brain, but right now, I am going to scrap the idea of getting it out every week. I am just going work on content. What this means is musings about myself and my personal life, as well as recent news within the queer community, and how it is affected by the laws being thrown up quicker than dump’s wall. Wait, that cannot be a good way to say, because, we know what happened with the wall—absolutely nothing. That does NOT mean that there is nothing of note in the queer community. There absolutely is. What this means, though, is that I am not going to make a promise I cannot keep. And while I may be able to get it out every week, I don’t want to feel like I have to. That is when I start to lose the joy behind it. The writing will always be something I do, whether for public consumption, or for myself. The sticking to a schedule—well, I will have to work on it lol.

Have one more video, then I’m out!

A bientot!